It has shaped up to be quite a fun bracket. I have been paining over just exactly how this contest is going to work, and I think I have come to a decision. In the spirit of my recent involvment with the "Mitch in the Morning Show," I think using the judging format that is used by "The Bigger Dance" is the only right way to decide. If you don't know what that means, here are the rules and the format.
You, the reader, will decide who the winners are. We will go one region at a time, and you will have two days to vote. Either send me an e-mail, or write on my facebook wall, or text me, or just tell me when you see me. We will start with the "Bunktown Region" which consists of Eric Djemba-Djemba vs. Milton Bradley, and Eugene Kingsale vs. Popeye Jones. The next region is the "South End Region" which consists of God Shamgodd vs. James Milner, and Majestic Mapp vs. Magic Johnson. The third region is the "Quaker Region", consisting of my favorite first round match-up Tshimanga Biakabatuka vs. Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala, and Houston Nutt vs. Dick Trickle. The final region is the "Husky Region", which includes Boo Weekly vs. An'Juan Wilderness, and Quinten McCracken vs. Dick Butkus.
Before we get started, I asked everyone who participated to not only tell me what their favorite name was, but to also include an explaination. Now, not everyone offered their reasoning, but a few people did, and I hope the voters will take this into consideration. The following is the explainations provided by you, if you actually took the time to write something. Here are the names, and their testimonies.
***Disclaimer- I didn't have anything to do with Jaxin's explaination.***
Eric Djemba-Djemba, by Jaxin Skyward- Eric Djemba-Djemba. A midfielder who played for manchester united in 2003. he now plays for Qatar FC. He is originally from Cameroon and plays for their national soccer team. His last name is the same word twice, separted by a hyphen and often laughter. Djembas is also a recently adopted, highly acceptable synonym for blacks. "did you see that djemba?", "look at that stinky djemba.", "i'd suck on that djemba's pussy.", etc. In cameroon, Djemba translates into the word drum. I've heard of people playing the drums but never a drum drum. Eric, as a first name for a guy who has a very tribal last name leads me to believe he was a slave. Eric is clearly Mr. drums slave name. Poor Djemba.
Houston Nutt/Southern Names in General, by Jonah Golan- As for the name contest, I'm gonna go with a Southern theme:
Houston Nutt, Captain Maroney, Major Applewhite, and Champ/ Boss Baily are a tie.....anyone who would give their offspring any of the preceeding first names are most likely from Texas and if not from somewhere else in the South....May god have mercy on their souls.
Quinten McCracken, by Matt Emmick-
The Mariner’s jerseys I most wish I had, other than Bobby Ayala of course, would number one be Junior followed by Quinton McCracken. He gets my recommendation as the best name in pro athletics. I will say, though, that I agonized over the decision to place him atop my list over other such notable names as Jaxin Skyward and Deng Cow but with a last name similar to a slang term for something that is really great, “crackin,” I had to go with him.
Quinton Antoine McCracken was born in Wilmington, N.C. in 1970 and graduated from Duke University in 1992. He is a switch hitter who throws right. He was drafted by the Rockies in 1995 and has since played on numerous teams including the D Rays, Twins, Diamondbacks, M’s, and the Reds.
The M’s acquired him in 2004 for Greg Colbrunn from the D-Backs. While he was in Seattle he hit a solid .150 in twenty ABs. Over his career he has hit .274 with a .374 slugging percentage and has twenty-one HRs. His nicknames include “Q,” “Cou Cou,” and “Crack.” Which I must say it is pretty hard to have one of your nicknames be a drug reference, right Trees?
The McCracken surname is Northern Irish and Scottish in origin and is an Anglicized form from Gaelic. My question is how a black guy ended up with an Irish name? I was under the impression that Micks were too drunk and unintelligent to have owned slaves, seeing as how they were a loathed social pariah.
So why pick Quinton? The logic is fairly simple. In filling out a March Madness bracket it is always wise to pick a twelve seed over a five seed so I am going to pick a bit of an underdog. I am putting my money on the name of an African American athlete rather than on some ugly foreigner whose name has some sexual connotation attached to it, Wally Szcerbiac comes to mind. My other rational lies in the fact that his last name sounds like it could be the best McDonalds sandwich ever. I can only imagine it to be comparable to a McChicken with fries and BBQ sauce on it or Cherny’s patented Double Cheese with shredded lettuce. I would expect this type of heat to be on their breakfast menu (see Matthew Dobie).
I just wish that his name had a randomly placed apostrophe, say Quin’ton, but if you can’t be perfect then why not have the hardest jersey in the MLB.
God Shamgodd, by Tam Johnson-
1. well, obviously being named "God" is totally ridiculous, i mean a
LOT of people are named jesus because that is an actual name, but god
really isn't, as far as i know. also, it's an obvious upgrade from
jesus, being his father and all... this brings up the jesus
shuttlesworth tie-in, which is also a great name, but totally
fictional. the fact that he is named 'god' not 'jesus', AND that it is
actually his true, non-fictional birth name is amazing.
2. as you pointed out in your post, having a unique last name is
pretty important, because really anyone can just get high or whatever
and name their kid anything they want, but it takes the convergence of
multi-generational destiny to get such an excellent first / last
combo. the repitition 'god shammgod' has an almost lyrical quality.
say it slowly, "the name is God, Shammgod." now say it in the voice of
sean connery as james bond. i think you see what i mean. there are
lots of weird names out there, but not many that so well integrate the
first and last. also, it is impossible to hear the "shamm" prefix
without being drawn into seriously profound spiritual introspection:
"is god a sham? am i worshipping a false idol?? should i just give up
hope and instead spend my time internet-researching obscure former
professional basketball players???"
3. he played high school ball with ron artest.
4. according to wikipedia, he is named after his father, which means
that he may more accurately god shammgod II, or Jr. People who name
their children after them are awesome (see: all of george foreman's
children), and people with unusual names who do this are even more
awesome. (look out for "Tamaso the second"!)
Those are all the explaiations I recievered. All of them were a pleasure to read and undeniably hilarious. And we got through them with only two slavery references, which in reality is pretty good. Huge thanks to all of you. I hope the voters read and heed the words you have written.
The first match-ups, out of the "Bunktown Region" are Eric Djemba-Djemba vs. Milton Bradley, and Popeye Jones vs. Eugene Kingsale. You have until Tuesday at 8:00 pm to vote. Vote, vote, vote. Oh yeah, only one vote per reader. But feel free to use bribes or physical violence to influence other readers votes. Here we go...Let's get ready to rumble.
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