Best Names in Sports

This is one of my favorite topics to discuss and debate with friends, family, coworkers, or literally anyone who wants to add their two cents. The best part about this debate is that it is a sports argument, but you don't actually have to know anything about sports. All you need is a sense of humor, and the ability to notice a funny name when you hear one. It is the "Best Name in Sports" debate, and we've all had it.

There are no real ground rules for a selection, although maybe there should be. You can have any reason for liking a name, you just have to be able to justify it. Whether you like the name because it sounds like a bodily function, or malfunction, like the famous NASCAR driver Dick Trickle. Or you like the name because it is ironic, like Darko Milicic, the only white guy drafted in the top ten in the 2003 NBA draft. Or if you just think the name is goofy and it reminds you of your favorite cereal, like Coco Crisp of the Red Sox. Almost any name can be included, as long as you think it's funny.

And that is what I'm looking for; the names that YOU, my friends and loyal readers, think are funny. I could sit here and write down a list of names that I find amusing, tell you why, and try convince you that I am the end all guru of funny sports names. But the truth is, I am not. There are probably names that I have never heard of, that you know, that you would add to my list. So this is what we are going to do. We are going to have our very own "Best Names is Sports" bracket, to find out once and for all, what is the funniest name in all of sports. Here is how we will do this.

RULES

1. Everyone will pick one name by December 10th. Only one name per participant, so make sure that you pick the name that you think is the funniest. First come first serve, so if you think you might pick a name that will be popular, tell me soon, so you can be sure you get your athlete.

2. You have to have an explanation for why you think the name is funny. It can be as simple as "his name rhymes with penis, that is hilarious." Or you can get deep, and explain why your selection is funniest for some reason we might not ever have thought of. IT'S UP TO YOU.

3. Everyone who reads this has to participate. I don't care if you simply add the name Rob Simms. And justify it by saying that it's funny because it's simple. I don't care, I just want to have a field of at least 16. Tell your friends, get the names in. Email me the selection, so no one else can see it. abunker206@gmail.com.

4. **Here is the reason you will play. The winner will receive tickets to the Final Four in San Antonio, Texas. An all expenses paid trip for 10, to the Final Four. Five Star hotels, limousines, court side seats, everything you can possibly think of, it'll be yours, all you have to do is win. Simple as that.**


This will actually be pretty fun if enough people play. In closing, you should feel bad if you read this and don't respond with something. All I want is full participation. Plus, this is your chance to prove that you are the most hilarious reader of "Road to the BigTime." That would mean a lot to me.

To get the ball rolling, here is my pick and my explanation. An'Juan Wilderness. The 6 foot 6, 215 pound forward, for the UNC Charlotte 49ers. I chose An'Juan for a few reasons. First, it's important to me for the players last name to be funny, and out of the ordinary. Any body can have a funny first name, but a good last name is rare. Second, anytime you can find a name that you have never heard before you are doing a good job. Third, any name with a non-possessive apostrophe is going to be good. His mom substituted the "T" in Antione, for an apostrophe, thus allowing her to break away from the traditional usage of the "ione" suffix, and use the Spanish "Juan". Damn.

That is creative, hilarious, and in my opinion, going to be hard to beat. The ball is now in your court readers. Impress me. And better yet, impress each other.



**Sike.