Game 1 Running Thoughts

Instead of consolidating these game notes into a blog that is more of a sports article, I am going to leave them as they are. I think it might be funny for some of you guys to read what I am thinking about when I watch a game and take notes on it. So, hopefully you like this, if not I'll give you your money back.

1st inning-
TOP
Josh Beckett jacked off on the Rockies with 3 K's in the first. Threw one high and tight to Holliday, message received, he was stepping towards the dugout on the next three pitches.

Kaz Matsui was the starting shortstop over Jose Reyes in New York, then the Mets traded him for Eli Morrero. The Mets are stupid.

FOX played "Here Comes your Man" by the Pixies out of the first inning into the commercial. A nice surprise, different from the usual John Fogerty, "Center Field."

BOTTOM
Dustin Pedroia homers, he is a god in Boston for life. He has 6 RBI in his last 5 at bats. On the down side, he'll be bald by 26.

Youk with a double. Six total bases by the Sox first two batters. Fuck, they are hot. Here come the Dominicans.

Papi tried to bunt, thank god he fouled it off.

Jeff Francis apparently grew up playing street hockey in Canada, therefore weather will not play a factor for him in this game. Bad Joe Buck comment number one.

Papi grounds out, moves the runner, here comes your Manny. 2-0 Sox, Manny sees one pitch, Manny has one RBI. Joe Buck is sad.

Clint Hurdle will apparently "throw that book away. That coaching book. The one that says what to do and what not to do." Joe Buck bad comment number two.

Jason Veritek is up, 50th post season game as a Red Sock. Heathcliff Slocumb is drunk somewhere buying hookers with the Mariners money.

The Captain singles, bringing up J.D. the $14 million slugger, who bats seventh.

JD doubles, scoring Manny. This is the first time I have seen Manny score from second without his helmet falling off, he must mean business.

This series is going to be painful because both catchers are X-M's, therefore every pitch will remind me of our painful inability to retain talent, and that we have a catcher named Kenji.

Nice play by Atkins, inning over. 3-0 Sox.

2nd inning-
TOP
Beckett starts the game with 4 straight K's. He may throw a perfect game with 27 K's.

Nope, Garrett Atkins hits a double off the wall. Atkins is the only Rockie doing anything so far.

Hawpe strikes out. He won't pitch a perfect game, 27 K's is still a possibility.

Troy Tulowitzki doubles in Atkins. Beckett is human.

Here is Yorvit, my favorite X-M name ever. He bounces to Lugo, no more chance at 27 K's. Too bad. Asdrubal is a good name too.

We have our first Dane Cook sighting. I swear to god that if it wasn't for those reminders about how great October is, I might stop watching. Thank you Dane. There is only one October.

BOTTOM

Jocoby Ellsbury. Pac 10 guy. Gotta like that. How had I never heard the name Jacoby before three months ago, but now there is Ellbury and Jacoby Jones of the Texans. Weird. He grounds out.

Pedroia grounds out too. He'll be crushed to find out that he doesn't get an RBI for that.

Youkilis is ugly as fuck. Ugliest guy in the series by far. Helton is ugly too. I hate bushy goatees. He draws the walk.

So far FOX has gone with the Pixies and Jimmy Buffet for their music selections, Jason Powell would be happy if he were watching.

Here's Papi. Best facial hair in the series. Best facial hair in baseball actually, it's just so clean. He must use a ruler. Line double to left, Youk scores. Very poorly played by Holiday.

They're walking Manny. Good call. He's hard.

Here' Lowell. Is there a better spot in any line up in baseball than Lowell has? Following Papi and Manny, how easy is that. Pitchers are so relieved to be done with those two, they practically tee it up for him. Hence the .330 average with 30 homers this year.

Harmless pop up. Inning over.

I think they just went to commercial with a Ramones song. I think I like the music director at FOX for this game.

3rd
TOP-
Josh Beckett's goatee looks like a female pornstar's pubic hair.

Spielborgs lines to second.

Willie Tavaris had 37 bunt hits this year? Holy Ichiro!! Manny ran down a long fly ball in the gap. Like he says he's "the best left fielder in baseball." Should have bunted Willie.

Kaz-Mat pops to short, easy inning for Beckett.

BOTTOM-

"It's the kind of thing that made Richard Dreyfuss go into the back yard. Like we're being visited." Bad comment number three, by Joe Buck, talking about the Auquos Blimp that is flying over the game. What a joke, they can't get Kevin Calabro to call the World Series? He'd have a lot of fun with Manny's antics. Only in dreams.

JD Drew grounds weakly to first. He must think he gets paid by the weak ground out, because he has about 14 million of them this year.

Bunt single by Ichiro...sorry I mean Lugo. Bunt single by Lugo. Bunt singles are weak.

Jacoby grounds out, he's handsome. Inning over, without a run. The Rockies are improving.

4th Inning
TOP-
Dustin Pedroia and Terry Francona play cribbadge every day? What are they 90.

Double by Helton, he's still batting .190 in the playoffs, the green monster is getting peppered tonight.

Tim McCarver just sucked Todd Helton's dick...so did Joe Buck. Apparently neither of them has heard of HGH or the clear.

I think Beckett has thrown like six curve balls tonight. He is throwing like 90% fast balls, and he has 7 K's through 4 innings. If McCarver and Buck wanna slurp somebody, it should be Beckett.

BOTTOM-
Another Ramones song coming out of the commercial, I'm gonna watch the credits at the end of the game and send a congratulatory email to the music director. Good music is a very rare thing on a FOX baseball broadcast, usually loads of Tom Petty and AC/DC.

Troy Tulowitzki is 23, I am 23. Weak.

Two quick outs for Jeff Francis. He must be reverting back to his weather training growing up playing street hockey in Canada.

Papi goes to left again. He is a great great hitter. Not just for power, he can go to any field and get hits. Now I'm slurping.

Speaking of slurping, here's Manny.

Tim McCarver reminds us that there haven't always been seats on the Green Monster. Thanks, maybe he should get in on those Dane Cook commercials, and they can both tell us stuff we already know about baseball.

Manny goes opposite field for a double. When you can take outside pitches the other way like Papi and Manny can, life is good.

Intentional walk to Mike Lowell, bases loaded for Varitek.

"If you've only been watching the NLCS and not the ALCS..." Joe Buck bad comment number four. No one has been watching the NLCS. And who would watch the NLCS and not the ALCS, Joe Buck sucks.

Varitek doubles down the left field line, two more runs score. 6-1 Sox.

JD Drew strikes out of course, and the inning is over. So too, maybe the game. Six runs for Beckett is more than enough I think.

5th Inning
TOP
MIMS "This is why I'm Hot" coming out of commercial. This is just getting better and better.

Tulowitzki swings at the first pitch and grounds out to short. Inexperienced players help out veteran pitchers in the playoffs. Jeff Francis has thrown 90+ pitches, Beckett is in the 50's.

Beckett with another K. That's 8. All fastballs too.

Beckett has 34 K's with only 1 walk this post season, he is pretty good. Make that 2 walks, he just walked Spilborghs.

BOTTOM
This is crazy, because I just got a phone call, and I talked for a half an hour, and I came back and it was still the bottom of the fifth. While watching the game on mute I noticed that the Rockies walked in three runs in a row, balked a guy over, went through three pitchers and blew the game wide open. 13-1 Sox. I'm glad I spent that inning talking and not paying attention to the laugher that game one has become.

It's 13-1. Game Over, no more thoughts.


"Troy either had purchased for him, or purchased himself, Jeter's cologne...Driven. Which is a breath taking fragrance." Joe Buck bad comment number six.