3 Sweeps, The Boss is Upset, and Spoken Word??

I don't want to be to over congratulatory with myself, but for all the heat I've been taking for predicting the M's to win the wild card and Hawks to the Super Bowl, I'm gonna bathe in the glory of my divisional series predictions. Not only was I 75% on my final four teams, and had Sweet Lou not pulled Big Z too early in game one I may have been 4 for 4, but I picked the Sox and Indians series down to the game. Pretty good Bunktown, but enough back patting, time to get down to business.

The Sox are for real. The Indians are too. The ALCS is going to be fantastic, which is a really good thing, because the NLCS may draw less ratings than a "Joey" marathon. I don't want to kill my ratings, so I'm not going to talk about the NLCS, I know none of you care about it so, Rockies in six, and that's it.

Back to more important and interesting topics. The two best pitching staffs in baseball are matching up in what could be a classic seven game series. CC vs. Beckett, Fausto vs. Dice-K, the Rafaels, Papelbon, Jo Bo the dirty Polack, and much much more. So, if there is so much great pitching in this series, why is it the offense that has me so excited? Manny, Pappi, and the seven Cleveland starters batting over .350 in the playoffs, that's why. David Ortiz is batting .714 in the playoffs. I know it was only a three game series, but he came to the plate 13 times, 11 of those times he got on base. In 13 at bats the Angels could only get him out twice. And he isn't fast. He isn't legging out infield singles. He is killing the ball. Manny is batting .375, and if you combine the two HUGE home runs he hit over the weekend he probably covered a quarter of a mile. Conversely, Jhonny Peralta is batting .467, and Lofton and Siezmore are both batting .375. Both teams have offenses that are firing on all cylinders, and pitching staffs that are fabulous. This is going to be a great series, and in the end it's going to come down to experience. Boston has been there, Cleveland is young. While CC and Fausto are both great, they're not going to win every game by 5 runs. That means that Joe Borowski will come into play. You can't win the AL with a closer who has a plus 5 ERA, especially when Boston has arguably the best closer in baseball. If it comes down to Jo Bo vs. Pappi late in a game, who would you pick. Plus Beckett was world series MVP, so was Manny. My prediction, Boston in a great great 7. Sorry Skyward.

As happy and optimistic as both the Red Sox and Indians are going to in the next round of the playoffs, the Yankees are pissed off and going home. More than that, George Stienbrenner is getting ready to shake things up. Joe Torre is gone, period. Whether he quits or gets fired or gets whacked (he needs to be in the next Martin Scorsese movie) he is gone with the wind. So too maybe A-Rod, who had a frustrating resurgence in games 3 and 4 not allowing himself to go down in history as the worst post season flop of all time. That said, he may decide to hit the market and see what he can get. And for the first time in about six years, I'm on his side on this one. There is no doubt that he is a sniveling, whiney, lifeless, self important, phony douche bag. That said, he maybe the best human to ever put on spikes. So, why not throw out the line and see if anybody bites. It's not like he should feel any need to be loyal to the Yankees or the city of New York. Not that I don't think it's great, but every time he blinks he's on the back page of the New York Post or getting booed. Shop around. See if you can't pull in 35, maybe 40 million, and go to some other poor, unsuspecting city and crush their dreams and handcuff their payroll. Good luck Cubs.

One last thing before I go. I don't know if anyone has seen this on Sportscenter, but Stuart Scott has some how convinced his producers that him reciting spoken word poems about current sporting events is a good idea. Tonight he did one about KG playing for Boston. Complete with sort of rhyming lyrics, "moody" lighting, and retarded camera angles, he performed a minute and half long poem about Kevin Garnett. Three reasons why this sucks, beside the obvious ones: 1. Now I will think about that poem every time I see KG in green, 2. Sportscenter, a nearly perfect show, is now a little shittier, 3. Stuart Scott is getting so much pull at ESPN they are letting him do whatever he wants. I only wish Kenny Mayne would have been his co-host tonight, I think he might have had something to say about the poem.

I'm sorry to have to give Stu the Dane Cook treatment, but I feel it's necessary.
HEY STU. It is Sportscenter. Be glad that you have the best fucking job in the world, and stop trying so hard to fuck it up. You're not in some college coffee shop in Portland, it's not Dave Chapelle's Block Party, it is Sportscenter. Stick to having a lazy eye and trying to hide it. Stick to awkwardly reminding us that you are "hip" six times a show by saying "booya" and "Ray Ray and Pookie and them". Stick to what has gotten you to the top. Please, Stu, no more spoken word. It's just sad. Think about what your kids have to go through at school every time you write a poem about some male athlete you don't even know. Think about the kids Stu, and make it stop.