Up Yours Billy Crystal

Summer 1993. There was a little white kid in Spokane, sitting so close to his grandparents TV that if his hat weren't already turned around backwards, it's bill would be pressed firmly against the screen. The direction of his hat had little to do with his proximity to the television, but everything to do with who was on TV. As he sat there watching his hero launch ball after ball onto Eutaw Street at the brand new Camden Yards in Baltimore, all he could dream about was being there. And then - when Junior belted one so far that it cleared everything and hit 10 feet up on the Baltimore-Camden Train Station, with its brown bricks, reeking of baseball and a time long past - he fell in love.

Take that Billy Crystal. You aren't the only one who can wax poetic bull shit about falling for baseball. I don't know if any of you have seen the movie he made, "61", but that's all it was. Long, sappy monologues about how he wants to have sex with baseball. I'm never gonna fully turn my back on the guy, "City Slickers" is a classic, and his portrayal of Miracle Max in "The Princess Bride" is one of my all time favorite characters. But if I have to listen to him recite another one of his flowery baseball poems over footage of the Mets World Series run this fall, I may shoot myself.

Wow. What a tangent. Let's get back on track.

As I'm sure you guessed, that little white kid in Spokane was me. (If Griffey could have collected royalties on the number of white kids wearing Mariners hats backwards from 1993-2000, he'd own the western hemisphere.) The reason I am reliving my viewing of the 1993 All-Star game is because last week I got to fulfill a dream I've had since that game, 14 years ago. I got to visit Camden Yards. I got to see Eutaw Street. And most importantly, I got to see the plaque they put on the train station in the exact spot were Griffey's home run struck the wall.

For a baseball fan such as myself, obsessed with the game since a very young age, there are a list of dreams that you need to live out in order to fulfill your baseball fantasy to the fullest. Places you need to see, cathedrals of the game. Events you need to witness. Players who you have to see in person to actually grasp how great they are. A list of dreams you check off one by one, until you are satisfied with your baseball journey. I've been lucky enough to check off a couple of mine so far, (Saw an M's playoff game in person. Saw Griffey, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, and a number of other greats of my generation in person. Set foot on Safeco Field. Met Ken Griffey Jr. Saw Lou Piniella get tossed from a game. Watched a great brawl in person. Took my Dad to game on Fathers Day, to pay him back for all the games he took me to.) and on my trip to Camden I was able to check off a couple more.

My Current Top 5 dreams are as follows:
1.) See the Mariners win a World Series.
2.) See Stadiums: Yankee Stadium, Fenway, Wrigley, Camden Yards, Dodger Stadium, and Busch Stadium.
3.) Visit the Hall of Fame.
4.) Take a baseball road trip.
5.) Catch a home run ball, and throw it back.

Further on down the list I have a number of baseball specific events that I think every baseball fanatic should see, including a Wrigley Field 7th Inning Stretch, a bases loaded intentional walk, an 18 inning game that starts on Wednesday and ends on Thursday, a suicide squeeze, and a rain delay. How ironic that I have lived my entire life in Seattle and gone to hundreds of baseball games, and I had to go all the way to Baltimore to see my first rain delay. I honestly think I was the only person in the stadium happy to see the grounds crew pulling out the tarp. I was actually cheering the rain. I may need professional help.

But that is what it is like for fans like me. We live to see these things that for years and years we've only dreamt about, or seen on TV. Walking into Camden Yards I was 9 years old again. And ideally when you finally get to act out one of your baseball dreams, you are with the right people. Luckily I was. I went to the game with Sam Gelinas, a life long friend, who's love for baseball is costing him $29.95 a month to watch the M's play on the internet. And Annasara Purcell, who if I have anything to say about it will have her own list of baseball dreams soon. As my good friend Juventude the Profit once wrote, "money ain't shit, if you don't have the right people to spend it with." The same is true of baseball. Billy Crystal just came.