In order to understand how little I cared about NASCAR, here is a scale of interest by which to measure my apathy. I present the "Andy Bunker Scale of Intrigue". (10 being the best)
1- How many carbs are in this sandwich?
2- Are Brad and Angelina adopting again?
3- Did the Storm win?
4- Is this my drink?
5- How am I getting home?
6- Ben Steitzer getting his drivers licence
7- Barack or Hilary
8- Is Sportscenter on?
9- Friends/Family
10- Mariners in the World Series
NASCAR fell somewhere in between Brangelina and the Storm. I didn't hate it, I simply didn't care. I was amused by the side stories: Dale Jr. and his crazy step mom, every one hating Jeff Gordon, the wife on wife fist fight that broke out during a race between two drivers wives, etc. But as far as the sport itself, I'd rather have gone shopping with my girlfriend. My NASCAR interest level was firmly set at 2.5: Indifferent Non-observer.
In order to get to the Skagit Motor Speedway, you have to drive for nearly two hours north of Seattle on I-5. The outlook of the trip was pretty bright, due to the fact that we were driving up with the radio host (Ian Furness) and the Mariners game was on the radio. But an hour into the trip, the M's were down 3-1 and the mood was very sour at the prospect of being swept by the Angels at home, in the biggest series we've had in 5 years. It seemed that nothing was going to be able to pull us out of the funk that the Mariners had dropped on us. It was like a reverse "Funk Blast". Just then, a pickup truck, that was raised about three feet higher than normal, whizzed past us as the driver honked and pumped his fist. On the rear window was a Number Nine sticker (Kasey Kahne's car number) and a sign that read, "Show me your tits!" Before we were done laughing at the guy, another truck passed us, the driver looked like a carbon copy of the first, giving us a thumbs up and sporting a "TAILGATER'S BEWARE: Driver Chews Tobacco" bumper sticker. By the time we passed Everett, it was an all out drag race. Trucks left and right covered in NASCAR gear, and not so clever bumper stickers. It was clear that we were not the only ones headed to the SMSW. Based mainly on the bumper stickers my NASCAR interest level had risen ever so slightly to a 3.3: Sarcastic enthusiasm.
After an hour and forty-five minutes of driving, the M's were down 5-2 and we had reached our exit. The only sign of life off of the exit was the Skagit Valley Gas Station and a sign that read, "Skagit Motor Speedway: 2 miles". We followed the Mapquest directions along a windy road, deep into the hills of Skagit county, and just as we were beginning to wonder if we were lost we came upon a sight that I can only describe as an oasis. Just as you crest the hill, the trees break and the vast opening gives way to trailers and trucks and RVs as far as the eye can see. Full family sized campers covered in orange and black Tony Stewart logos. Peoples' cars painted and stickered to look just like Kasey Kahne's number 9 car. And more unbelievable bumper stickers than I could ever imagine. For the first time in my life I knew why John Melencamp wrote "This is Our Country". NASCAR interest level, 4.2: Skeptical Amazement.
We set up our broadcast tent behind the main grandstand. As I was pulling the tent out, getting ready to raise it to an upright position, a twangy voice shouted into my ear, "How big is that thing?" Before I could turn around to greet the shouting man, another voice chimed in with his estimation, "I bet that thing is a 10, maybe a 20...dang, I never seen a 20 before." I quickly realized they were discussing the size of our tent, and being that I am very familiar with it, I responded, "It is 10 by 15." This was earth shattering news to Jim and George, two brothers from Mt. Vernon. "I didn't know they was making 15's," Jim marveled. "We need to get us one of them. Is it sturdy?" Not five minutes into my stay at the SMSW, and I was facilitating an full on tent forum. "Yeah, it's pretty nice. This one is couple of years old, but it still works well." I couldn't tell if they were amazed by the fact that it had held up for so long, or that 15's had been out for two full years and they hadn't heard, but they were both shocked. "We got to get us one of them," George giddily chuckled, breaking the silence, and they were off to find seats. Welcome to the Skagit Motor Speedway. NASCAR interest level, still 4.2. Tent interest level, 10.
Over the past three years of working for KJR, I have become a master at creating games to pass the time while the radio host is on the air, and I have next to nothing to do. The game I came up with today was my finest ever. From our position behind the grandstand we were in direct sight of the front gates, and the line to get in had become something of a swarming heard of tank tops and jean shorts. In order to get into the seating area, everyone had to pass directly in front of our table, perfect promotional positioning, but also perfect positioning for people watching. The game was Mullets vs. Fu Man Chews. I had mullets, Brad the intern had Man Chews, we kept a running count of each, and the winner got a Coke. When Ian Furness got wind of the contest, he took it to the air waves. Giving updates at the top and bottom of every hour. Listeners were calling in asking what the count was. One guy showed up at the SMSW and told us that he and his dad were driving, and nearly drove off the road with laughter when they heard what we were counting. The final count was
, 46 mullets,
and 62 Fu Man Chews,
Brad won the Coke. But in the long run, everyone was a winner. NASCAR interest level, 5.5: Blossoming Wonder.
As the afternoon wore on, we had the chance to talk to a number different people about why they like racing so much. And to be honest the enthusiasm that these fans were showing was a lot more intense than anything I've ever seen at Safeco. There was a line as long as a football field outside of Kasey Kahne's trailer for autographs. And the gear these fans were sporting was out of this world.
Tony Stewart's number 20 car, doubling as a hilarious hat. 
Number 20 ear muffs. Tony Stewart protects people from premature deafness.
NASCAR interest level, 6.5: Genuine Excitement.
At this point the broadcast was nearly over, but the mullet and fu man chew counting was no longer the only thing that was making the time pass. I could feel the buzz, and I was honestly excited for the races to get going. The Mariners had officially been swept, but I didn't care. I wanted to see Tony Stewart and Kasey Kahne race. My interest was teetering on the fence that separates what I had always believed, and a world which I was totally unfamiliar with. And when the drivers started the engines, and I felt the earth rumble, I fell off the fence and landed firmly on the NASCAR side. The deal had been sealed. I was a NASCAR fan. NASCAR interest level, 7.5: I care.
On the drive back to Seattle I came back to earth a little bit. The anger of the Mariners sweep began to sink in a little more, but the overwhelming feeling of the day was still utter amazement that I had fallen for NASCAR. I feel like I hooked up with a girl that I never found attractive, but now all I can think about is whether or not she'll call. We'll see what happens from here. I know that I'll be watching when Tony Stewart tries to catch that bastard Jeff Gordon this weekend at the NNCS at the California Speedway. From there we'll see, maybe I'll have to revise the "Scale of Intrigue" to accommodate a new priority.
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